You used to be a really well put together human being. You could shower whenever you needed to. Your clothes were clean and thoughtfully selected each day. You knew how to carry on a sane conversation with strangers.

After your little monster arrives, that all changes. Showering? Ha! Baby wipes become your go-to for stinky pits. Clean laundry? Ha, ha! You’re happy to find anything on the floor that doesn’t have spit-up on it. Normal small talk? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!! Don’t be surprised if a cashier asks you how you’re doing today and you reply “You’re welcome!” So, so awkward.

That’s why one of the greatest gifts to parents since the invention of the diaper is subscription services. YAASSS! Get all of your essentials delivered to your doorstep on a regular schedule so you never run out and are never stuck hunting down some pants and a couple of shoes (who cares if they match) in the middle of the night when your baby’s diaper rash has flared up and you’re sadly out of rash cream.

PRO HACK: Get everything humanly possible shipped to your home.

SUPER PRO HACK: Put a sign on your door to let delivery people know they shouldn’t knock or ring the doorbell because there’s (hopefully) a sleeping baby inside and if said baby is woken up...there will be hell to pay. You can write it on a piece of paper or buy an actual sign (yes, they are mass manufactured now). Just do it.